The opening scene shows three individuals conversing at a New York bar. There is a woman seated between two men. The distance of the camera is too far away to understand their connection to each other. Onlooker voices try to figure out how the trio knows each other. Maybe they are tourists, maybe the white dude is the tour guide. And so it begins, writer-director Celine Song’s bittersweet romantic drama ‘Past Lives.’ It was the darling at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. The reason this film resonates so profoundly is the way it is told. It examines how much we change over time in our lives and how that effects our relationships. ‘Past Lives’ will have a place on my ten best films list of 2023.
There is a flashback 24 years prior to the bar scene. It shows a young Nora (Greta Lee) and Hae Sung (Teo Yoo). They are best friends. She tells her mother, “He’s manly, I’m going to marry him someday.” They go on a kid date. Sadly, they are separated. Nora’s family emigrates from South Korea to Canada. The point of going back to this childhood memory is significant. Although the two are physically separated, they both have fond memories of each other. You cannot deny the sense of longing that exists. It is a dreamy feeling of having something special that you no longer possess.
The story then cuts 12 years later as Nora is now in New York City as an aspiring playwright. Her goals have changed from winning a Nobel Prize to a Pulitzer. On a whim, she looks up old friends on Facebook. She finds out that Hae Sung has been looking for her. They connect online through Skype. They easily rekindle their friendship on video chat. When the distance becomes too painful for Nora, she tells Hae Sung she wants to take a break. Soon thereafter, we see Nora at a writer’s retreat in the country where she meets a fellow writer, Arthur (John Magaro). The two move in together in Brooklyn and get married.
Another 12 years pass again when Nora hears from Hae Sung. He’s coming from Seoul to New York City and wants to meet up with her. In a typical romcom, the two would hook up in Central Park and end up in bed. The third wheel husband would be portrayed as a schmuck. That thankfully never happens. Nora’s husband Arthur says to her, “the guy flew 13 hours to be here. I’m not going to tell you that you can’t see him or something.” He’s a decent guy. Although it is painful for him, he knows he needs to let it happen. Arthur knows the two will always have a strong bond because they have the same language and culture in common. Nora reassures him as well as herself, “This is my life, I’m living it with you.”
In the narrative, the Korean concept of “inyeon” is the belief that relationships are part of our destiny. This is demonstrated in Greta Lee’s magnificent performance as Nora. When she reunites with Hae Sung, it is exciting, awkward, and complicated all at once. It’s difficult not to root for Nora and Hae Sung to fall in love with each other. It’s not so easy. Her husband Arthur is a nice guy. Her life in New York is her path to becoming a successful writer. She has no desire to return to Korea. She has changed and evolved in adulthood. It doesn’t mean she has no feelings for Hae Sung. It means the time and distance have changed their relationship. They still have fond childhood memories. There is still longing between the two and that is what makes ‘Past Lives’ so good. Put this bittersweet love story on your must-see list.
